Election Day

I'm not one for political posts or giving my 2 cents anymore -- too much drama. I've realized that in this day and age there are just some youth who don't have the maturity or the capability (sadly), to handle a political discussion, without it becoming an argument or dispute. What happened to the days of having an intellectually stimulating conversation, sharing two opposing opinions and respectfully hearing what the other person had to say? I find that recently I can only have those types of talks with my parents' friends or people who are much older than me. Anyways, today's post isn't to give my opinion on the election.. I have a feeling people are already on information/opinion overload with the amount of free speech that social media has given us to share our thoughts on this current election. Instead, I just wanted to share how crazy I think it is that it's been 4 years since the last election.

Call it my nostalgic self kicking in once more, but seriously... I was thinking about this last night while I lay in bed trying to sleep. I literally remember what I was doing, who I was with, and even what I was wearing four years ago during the last election!! I think most probably this was because fall 2008 was also such a pivotal time in my life too. I had just moved into the dorms for my freshman year of college at UC Davis. It was all of our first time ever being able to vote, so weeks prior to the election, my entire floor was studying up on all the props, sharing different views, and putting up cute little posters on our dorm room windows, sharing our opinions and who we were supporting. I remember the night of the election, myself and around 15 other dorm-mates were all in our common lounge area, all watching CNN, eager to hear the results. I even remember I was in my typical scrub attire; this sweat suit I had bought from Target which became my signature outfit on weeknights after getting home from a long day of classes, haha. We were all eating popcorn, sharing stories, and anxiously watching the screen to hear the final results. Once we heard Obama won, the room erupted with cheers and excitement. It was such a special moment... just witnessing a group of up and coming youth, having just entered adulthood, being able to take part in an election and then seeing their vote count and gain victory. I will never forget that moment as long as I live. I love being able to share important events in life with a big group of people. It kind of reminds me of our LOST series finale party we had (yes, I do consider that a big life changing event in case you were wondering).

Anyways, my only purpose with this post was to look back in shock at the fact that I feel like I'm getting old because I'm turning into one of those people who say, "I can't believe it's been 4 years!!" -- but seriously, I can't. I look at my college days and remember them like they were yesterday. I'm sitting in my room now, simply floored at the fact that it was FOUR years ago. That I'm so past that stage in my life and it's really sunk in that it's real world time.



#truth that I'm leaning on in this season of my life. I want to be the Proverbs 31 woman - So, sadly there's no new episode of Parenthood tonight and I think that a personal post is long overdue.. so I thought might as well get right to it. I've had a crazy couple of months when I take the time to sit back and recollect my thoughts on the past few months. Actually make that the past year. I still can't fathom how fast 2012 has flown by. I feel like I experience this every year, but honestly with year I think that it's been the fastest. I look back on how quickly each month flew by and all of the transitions that I've made in only a year.

Starting with graduating from college in December 2011 and moving back home to living with my parents, that was a big one. In my life I've always had my paths sort of set in front of me. It was always, get good grades and aim for the best and then when you're there, start that process over again for the next big thing. I have lived and breathed this cycle since elementary school and finally at the end of 2011, I truly came to the end of the ongoing cycle. I graduated from one of the best schools in California with honors, and 2 quarters early at that. You think you'd feel very accomplished right? I don't think I've ever felt more lost or confused than I did when I moved back home; right around the same time we rang in the new year.

I spent the first chunk of the new year job searching and really figuring out what I should do with my life. My initial go-to was comparing myself to everyone around me; what kinds of jobs do they have? how much should I be making? what kind of job looks "legit" or "prestigious"? That tends to always be the biggest mistake of mine. I'm ALWAYS comparing myself to others and wanting what I don't have. It's led to a lot of realizations over the years, and most importantly the lesson that I'm living my own life, no one else's... so might as well make this the best possible life for myself.

After 5 months of interviewing, stressing, and searching.. (oh, and include a spontaneous family trip to Europe in between all that!), I finally landed the right job; the perfect job in my eyes. I began working as a recruiter at a third party agency at a company really close to my house. I honestly think this was the best first job that anyone could have had. I was new to the corporate world and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, career-wise. This job gave me the opportunity to really gain a sense of all the different industries that are out there. I was able to work with some of the biggest names in Silicon Valley, as well as truly grow as a person. I look back and one of the biggest things I am thankful for is that I grew so much in shedding a lot of insecurities that I had and grew in my professionalism and confidence. A lot of fears I once had totally disappeared and were replaced with so much knowledge and maturity. Plus on top of all that, I was able to work with some of the best people that I have yet to meet. Our office was small so we literally became a family.

Flash forward 4 months in and we are here. Long story short, but as always, life is unpredictable my friends. And sometimes you don't know how good something was until it's gone.. or until it changes dramatically. Unfortunately, my work life took a huge turn and was overtaken by new management. The company did a complete 180 and we honestly couldn't even recognize it as what it once was. People left, new people came, and the culture shifted very significantly. As of right now, that door of my life has closed and I look at it now through the eyes of someone who isn't that little girl who is fearful about what is to come. Instead, I look at this like a blessing in disguise.

All of my life, I've had so many passions but yet to go after them. I sell myself short, think I don't deserve the things that I want, or that they're too hard to obtain. I realize how that the constraints I've put on myself are the only things that are stopping me. Even starting this blog and being regular about it was truly a tough feat. But I finally realized, if this is my true passion, start! You have nothing to lose. I see the blessing in disguise, because my last month at my job I kept wishing and hoping for a new opportunity to present itself. In a way, my time there was done. It was such a great experience to start off with, and I am going to take the lessons I've learned with me throughout the rest of my career -- but it was almost as if God was also agreeing with me and saying, yes the time has come to move onto something bigger and better.

So right now, even though I feel like I'm back at square one and back to where I was exactly at the start of 2012, I realize I'm not there at all. In fact, I've progressed so many steps forward. In maturity, in wisdom, in confidence, and in faith. The verse I have posted above is the verse that I'm leaning on and truly walking out in this next stage of my life. I want to be the woman who can truly laugh in confidence & in hope that there is absolutely no fear of the future; but only good things ahead.

If it's writing & blogging that I love, then I won't cease to write until I land something. If it's event planning, if it's recruiting, if it's in the corporate world, or even starting my own business venture -- nothing is too out there as long as I myself believe in it.

And that's been the biggest transition of all -- shifting from all of the personal doubt to believing in myself moreso than I ever have before. Looks like a new chapter has literally been added in to my life at this point. And it's my job to choose how it's going to be written.

typical post-college syndrome

why is it that my own 17 year old brother is so passionate and driven about what he wants to do with his life and future, while i'm sitting here more confused than i've ever been in my life? it's so embarrassing when everyone's favorite question is, "so now that you're a graduate, what are you doing next?" and i just give them a blank stare and tell them i legitimately have no idea. i feel like it makes me look pathetic. here i am, done with school from one of the top 20 public schools in the US, with a pretty decent GPA, and some great memories under my belt -- but now i'm back at home, 2 weeks in, and i'm just confused. borderline frustrated with myself because i feel like this is what i felt like freshman year of college and not what i should be feeling like now. i thought i was supposed to have it all figured out by now. i'm applying to some marketing jobs/ the business field and getting my resume all spruced up for that, but in reality, this is not the kind of job i want nor think that i will enjoy. sure, i know the pay will be amazing, but honestly why do i want to do this at age 22?

i want to travel, i want to experience life, i want to see other parts of the world, interact with different kinds of people... i feel like i've been in a bubble for the majority of my life and it's soon going to be too late.